“I ordered this amulet online. I wanted it because it’s made out of the same stuff as a mood ring, so it changes colors depending on what mood you are in.

When it came in the mail I was pumped so I put it on and waited for it to turn blue, the color of happiness. But the color never changed. It took me a while to figure out what was going on, but I finally realized it doesn’t work because my fur insulates my skin so the amulet doesn’t know what my mood is.

It made me feel dumb, you know? Like, how could I have been so stupid to have ordered a mood ring when I’m covered in fur?

I got so pissed off. Then I looked down at the amulet and of course it was still the same color, green, for “relaxed”, because it didn’t even know how pissed off I was, so I got even more pissed off. Then that whole cycle repeated like two or three more times, I don’t even know how many, because I was so angry I couldn’t think straight.

I almost threw the thing out my window. I stopped myself when I realized that even though it can’t tell me my mood, it still looks pretty cool when I wear it. What do you think? It looks cool right? Especially when I kneel down like this.”